Comments on: Crybaby: The Expat Tantrum

By: Shell

Shell — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 20:34:23 +0000

I’ve been an ex-pat for 10 years (Canadian in Italy-lnd) and only today thought to look up ex-pat blogs on the net. I suppose I hesitated because I didn’t think I could STAND a super-wonderful-soppy blog about drinking homemade wine with friends under a Tuscun sun while the children ran around the olive grove type thing. Reading Rebecca’s blog and all of these comments full of sharing and openness is so much more than I expected. What a great, warm and real bunch of people. Thank you all for sharing.

By: rebecca

rebecca — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 07:53:13 +0000

Gubbi, I’ve been amazed at the response to this post…there is definitely a bit of universiality to the expat experience which speaks to everyone who has ever uprooted and tried to flourish in new soil. To the experience, indeed!

By: Gubbi

Gubbi — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 12:01:37 +0000

Love this, and completely relate! I actually landed here quite unexpectedly, when I Googled “expat tantrum” on a whim after throwing a spectacular ET of my own this afternoon at the doctor’s office, of all places (that poor GP didn’t know what hit him). After 3.5 years as an American living in Dubai, I feel like I should be over that phase by now and on to a more “zen” part of my expat existence… but it’s reassuring to hear that even after 17 years, sometimes the tears and the frustration still get the best of other people too. :) To the experience!

By: rebecca

rebecca — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 20:49:11 +0000

Hi, Annie…thanks for stopping by. This kitchen tool thing made me remember a blog post from the vault (I think 2003) that you might find interesting: http://www.brigolante.com/en/2003/11/oh-what-i-would-give-to-be-canadian/

It is hard sometimes, and lonely. And it is an adventure sometimes, and wonderful. And that’s the kicker. ;)

By: Annie

Annie — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 14:51:01 +0000

I can definitely understand… I’ve only been living in Italy about a year so far, but have already had similar experiences. People back in the US seem to think I live some sort of magical, blessed life because I live here, and don’t really take me seriously when I say I have a problem… instead it is ‘Don’t complain, you live in Italy!’ For some reason, I didn’t expect it to be this hard. It’s also wonderful, but it ain’t easy.

Yesterday I was trying to find a specialized kitchen tool that I didn’t know the name of in Italian, and after trying to explain its use for a half an hour to a shopkeeper, I had to start drawing pictures, only to discover that such a thing doesn’t exist in Italy. I guess it is all part of the adventure, huh?

By: rebecca

rebecca — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 09:09:09 +0000

Thanks, Martha, for coming by and for your thoughtful comment. My life here was very cyclical the first years…periods of euphoria and periods of despair. Things have settled quite a bit over the past few years and the highs are lower and the lows higher. Being an optimist by nature is surely a help (in life in general, and certainly as an expat!)

By: Martha

Martha — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 11:02:28 +0000

I’ve been in Italy for almost 6 years. Living in a little village in Eastern Tuscany. I was relieved to read your expat rant. The loneliness and isolation that I feel is often overwhelming and I often wonder if it’s worth the spectacular view from my bedroom window.
I had a blog for about 6 months and I enjoyed writing about life in a little village. I didn’t dwell on anything negative and if i did I turned it into something to laugh about. But then I had such a series of disappointments that there was no way I could put forward la bella figura one more time.
Considering that the area where I live is so achingly beautiful I try to take strength from my surroundings.

By: rebecca

rebecca — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 09:46:54 +0000

Thanks so much, Madeline and Marcia, for stopping by and commenting! The feedback from this post has been wonderful…

By: Marcia

Marcia — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 19:01:34 +0000

My heart is with you, and it at times, it is like that here in the States. I remember once crying at the detergent ads in a Better Homes & Gardens magazine, lol. (It was that time of the month and the magazine came always, at that time of the month.)
It helps to vent, don’t you think? I appreciate your honesty. :-)

By: Madeline | Italy Beyond the Obvious

Madeline | Italy Beyond the Obvious — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 14:51:29 +0000

Rebecca, love this post! My favorite part is your paragraph on frustration, with the imagery of the elusive flickering shadow right outside your field of vision…. perfectly described!

As a Canadian living in the US I don’t currently feel like an expat, but in 5 years in Italy and 2 years in Sweden I had many days/weeks/months like you describe and feel like I can definitely relate to it all. Looking forward to reading more of your blog!